Happy Star Wars Day: Bantha Blue Milk Time!
It’s May 4th, Star Wars day, 12:31 AM, and I’m going to write about blue milk damn it.
The Bob Club
I was obsessed with Star Wars as a kid. Well still am, but as a kid it was like a religion. Of course liking Star Wars back then wasn’t like it was now a days. If the cool kids found out you were into Star Wars they probably made fun of you. So when you found someone else in the play ground that liked Star Wars too it was like you were part of a secret club! I had that club… We called it… “The Bob Club”. Because “Star Wars Club” was already taken by some kid we found kind of annoying. Not because he liked Star Wars but because he was just kinda annoying.
I won’t get into “The Bob Club” that’s a story for another time. But being part of The Bob club meant you like Star Wars. It was me, my good friend James, Robbie, Ary and I think that was it. We played Star Wars video games. We brought our toys to school. We just hanged ya know. My point in all this was Star Wars was a big deal to me growing up. So of course, I watched it… like ALOT. It didn’t take long for me to notice something strange.
Something in A New Hope, when Luke is having his meal. He was drinking… what the heck?! BLUE MILK?!?!
It was such an odd thing. Why was he drinking Blue Milk? What did it taste like?! Was it sweet? Or Even milk?! It wouldnt be until years later when the internet came around that I found out, according to star wars lore, that that milk was from a Bantha. What’s a bantha you ask?
These hairy monsters:
Holy Cow. Imagine having to milk these things, I mean, you can almost smell them just by looking at them. Look at all that hair, what if one takes a dump. I bet the poop gets stuck in all the hair and if you don’t clean it right away it dries up and gets all crusty, making the hairs hanging from the butt all clump together. Probably why they smell so bad.
But yes, that’s them. That’s where the folks in the Star Wars universe get their milk. Would you drink that milk? Well guess what! Now you can!!!
Bantha Milk is Real Now
As you may of heard, Disney Parks in the process of creating a Star Wars themed land for both Disney World and Disney Land. Why is this important?
That’s Bantha milk, the blue one. The green one is the green milk Luke drank in Last Jedi from those alien titties.
I don;t know if I would drink that one. Anyways, Disney in all it’s magical ways has made Bantha milk real. So the real question is, “how is this Bantha Milk? I mean ya know, it’s just a movie right!… right?”
Well Disney released this statement in some article I found randomly online,
“The blue milk is actually plant-based dairy — essentially rice milk — which makes it easier for everyone to enjoy, even the lactose intolerant. And it’s soft-frozen, like a milkshake. Galaxy’s Edge beverage director Brian Koziol says it has been sweetened and infused with berry and melon flavors. “It’s a lot like a smoothie.”
So it’s more like a melon and berry smoothie over at Star Wars Land. I always imagined my Bantha milk very creamy! Of course that is good that anyone can enjoy it. But! for those of us who would like Bantha milk in a more “milky-ish” and sweet too. I found this recipe online which I think will serve such purposes!
Anyways, that’s all I have to say about Bantha Milk everyone! Happy Star Wars day!
Oh yeah! I also did a new design that looks like a label for Bantha Milk, check it out, click on the image to see it on shirts, and mugs and junk!