Looey Reviews: The Sonic Movie Trailer Review
Have you ever seen something so bad it’s beautiful. It’s almost a masterpiece of errors. Something that got so screwed up that it’s some new form of art? Well buckle up buckaroo. Because this is all about that awkward blue guy we’ve been fearing for quite some time now.
No no, not you Fresh Genie of Agrabah.
I’m talking about this guy!
So first off, if you haven’t seen the trailer, here watch it:
Sonic Movie Trailer Review!
This movie feels like someone wrote the script in the 90’s, except the part of the Sonic puppet that would have been created by some off-brand Jim Henson company, is instead replaced by a really awkward CGI character.
See, back in the 80’s and 90’s if your favorite cartoon, comic or video game was going to be made into a movie, you can bet it was going to be live action!
That’s because back then it was cheaper to do it live action then to do a well animated film. If it wasn’t Disney quality, then it would just look lame by comparison. So we always got live action adaptations of these cartoons and such. Also, animated movies we’re seen as more for kids than a movie for everyone.
Now it’s different, animated films have climbed the ranks and are seen as films for everyone! At least for the most part. So, Sonic, what happened? This would have been perfect as an animated movie!
It could have been awesome! Simple story: The animals on planet Mobius (sonic’s planet) as well as one of the Chaos emeralds have disappeared. Sonic finds out it’s Dr. Robotnik who stole the emerald and the animals for some diabolical plan to take over the planet with his evil robots. So he goes on a journey to collect the other emeralds before Dr. Robotnik, then saves the animals. Get’s the last emerald in the final face off, goes super Sonic and kicks Robotniks butt. End with Tails being the last animal to come out of the animals who we’re kidnapped, and BAM tease for the sequel.
But NoOoOoOoOoOo… instead we get…. *sigh* this
Those are Nacho Fries, Sonic!
So right off the bat, who do we see? it’s James Marsden, the actor from that Taco Bell Nacho Cheese Fries Movie Trailer commercial!
Ok, this isn’t a fair point against the movie, I know he is in other stuff too, but to me he’s the nacho fries movie trailer guy. That just set the tone for me right away.
What’s the best song they could have picked for this trailer? That’s right! you got it!!!
Doesn’t Coolio’s Gangsta’s Paradise just SCREAM Sonic the hedgehog?
I suppose that’s for us 90’s kids right?! Sonic the movie, I mean “#SonicMovie”, relates to us! But were you not raised in the 90’s? Think this movie isn’t for you? Well don’t worry, the trailer let’s you know it’s also hip in today’s world! But we’ll get to that soon.
Honestly though, they should have used the soundtrack from Sonic 2. Every song in that game is gold. We talked about these songs on a recent podcast episode all about Top Video Game music, so the sonic songs are fresh in my mind and they are so glorious. Those songs done instrumentally? Mmm, perfection!
Gotta Go Fast!
We then get to see our hero. Look at him, just look.
He looks like a fully proportioned adult male… wearing a Sonic helmet. Which further makes me think this was meant for the 90’s. Maybe it wasn’t a puppet they planned after all, but like a guy in a suit, then they would green screen him into every scene! That would also look terrible, which would fit the theme of this movie.
AAAAAALL Righty then!
Jim Carrey is back everyone! He’s climbed out of his existential crisis to do something very important, play Dr. Robtonik in the Sonic Movie. Ok, I’ll admit it. I was looking forward to this. I wanted to see how Jim Carrey would portray Dr. Robotnik in his own fun, Jim Carry way. I thought for sure he would come up with a fun accent or something. But nope! None of that. We get instead, a re-hashed, evil Ace Ventura persona.
Maybe it played out like this on the set.
Jim Carrey:”Move execs! I have a great idea for this Dr. Robotnik guy! He’s going to be from austria, and he’s going to be really insecure so when Sonic calls him egg-man, he’ll be like-“
Movie Execs: “Whoa there Jimmy! Can’t you see what we’re trying to do here? You’re trying way to hard my friend, relax put your feet up. Here let me see your past roles… Ah! Ace Ventura! Do that one again, just not as funny or entertaining. Ok? Great, thanks!”
Then again, maybe he IS Ace Ventura… he once saved animals, but now he’s using them as test subjects for his evil robots! Like in the game!…
No, no I don’t think the Sonic movie would allow such deep, intricate planning or fun cross over element for any character.
Oh! and what I said before, about staying hip with the cool kids these days? We get this line right after Robotnik tells some army dude he’s not important in a really hilarious bit where he uses big fancy words, then, with just a mic drop missing he walks away. Well that’s followed by another guy explaining “The Doctor thinks you’re basic“
See kids! The Sonic movie used the slang word Basic so you know it’s hip with the times!
Isn’t it annoying when someone kidnaps a kid?
In the final scene we see Mr. Nacho Fries with some lady friend of his. I’m guessing the girl he likes, but is to shy to tell her, and they will end up falling in love and kissing by the end of this movie, WHO KNOWS!
Anyways, they’re helping Sonic sneak in somewhere. So Sonic is zipped up inside his bag, which by the way he said smelled like cheese! Bet he kept some of that nacho cheese in there, for his nacho fries!
So, hes in the bag and talking, and some folks over hear the noise in the bag.
A lady says “Is that a kid in there!”
And he’s all “No! Well yeah, it’s a kid, but not my kid”
If someone admits to kidnapping a child, what do you do? Maybe try and grab the kid? Call the police? OR at least building security? Sure! Those all seem proper and logical choices. What do the folks in the Sonic Movie do?
They all walk away, with slightly disgusted faces as if he just farted or something.
And that is the cherry on the top of the Sonic Movie Trailer!
No wait, the screen is getting all fuzzy and distorted… there’s more!
Cool after credit scene!
Thanks to the marvel movies if your movie doesn’t have an after credit scene, is it even worth watching? Well we sort of get that in this trailer too! After the trailer credits we get a cool shot of Jim Carrey looking like the Dr. Robotnik we know and love.
I see some big mushrooms back there too. Probably Sonic’s home world. How much you want to bet that this scene won’t come till the very end of the film, and we’ll see Sonic’s video game world for just a very short piece of the film. Maybe THAT will be the after credit scene!
It’s almost as if someone found a magic lamp, and a genie popped out,
..And the dude said “WOW a genie! I wish, FINALLY, for Sonic the hedgehog movie to come out!” and the genie was like “Ok cool, but I’m one of those annoying genies that messes up your wish in some clever and hilarious way. So you will get your Sonic Movie, but it will be equally as bad, if not worst, then the movie based off it’s arch nemesis, back in the 90’s.
The Super Mario Bros. Movie! It’s A Blast!”
And that’s the end of my review of the Sonic Movie Trailer Review!
Will I go see it? Will I go see just how truly bad this film will be?
Yes. Yes I will.
But will I go dressed like this?